Ten Pranks and a Dare
by frifri
Summary: Hermione and Draco have both been pulled in a horrid and annoying situation by what they consider to be their best friends and a shady character going by the name of Bumblebee. Will Draco ever stop cleaning? ARE THE PRANKS TOO EVIL? FindoutintheTWILIGH...
1. Step one, complete

**Ten Pranks and a Dare**

Chapter One: We Got Her, Lavender!

Disclaimer: I own monkeys, not Harry Potter.

A/n: June2010. a **VERY IMPORTANT NOTE **before anyone starts to read this... I started writing this story when I was roughly 12 years old. I am now 18, and since then, my writing style and qaulity has improven... And while not dramatically, there is definitely a change. I also started this fic in a spastic hurry, so I could atleast get something down & solid, because I've always been the type to have an idea and just leave it at that- thus, the first three chapters, what I wrote eons ago, completely suck. But I keep telling myself that it's all pretty good for being 12. Anyway. I've also always been the extremely lazy type (apparent through the fact that the last time I updated this was years ago), so I'm obviously refraining from completely going through and rewriting what I have thus far right now.

But... I will and can promise you, once I get everything going again, there will be better written chapters here. I'm in a small rut right now because I kind of forgot the shell of my plot- but I'm telling you guys, I'm just as creative and in love with Harry Potter as I was before.

I'm GOING to write a _classic_. It's going to be amazing. And you're all going to read it.

So, my request to you, sweetsweetsweet lovers, readers, reviewers, and writers, get through these 3 short chapters, and I promise you, I'm going to bring home some damn good bacon made...

_just. for. **YOU.**_

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"Come on 'Mione!" Ginny Weasely blurted into Hermione Granger's ear for the twelfth time in a row.

Hermione shoved a spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth and slowly turned around towards Ginny with nothing but the look of pure agitation and anger written across her face.

_When was she going to stop?_

"ARGH! No! No! No, Ginny! Seriously, Burbage is making us write this horrid essay on the Yeti and it's affects on muggles. It's due next Tuesday, and I've still got my potions assignment left, and not to mention that dumb dink's mess to clean up in the head common room from yesterday! He scrubbed the desk so hard with Sippy's Soap that it deteriorated and fell apart!"

Ginny perked up at the sound of Hermione referring to Malfoy and opened her mouth to speak, "Speakeeiy-…"

"Honestly," Hermione cut her off, "I am not going to your silly little slumber party with all these tasks on my plate."

"Merlin Hermione, it's not like we're gonna make you snogg some hot guy or anything…" Ginny grinned cunningly and flashed a look to Lavender, which she rather quickly and swiftly responded with a rather evil looking smirk. Hermione noticed this and raised her eyebrow. They were up to something, she knew it. And it was blood curdling- they were ALWAYS up to some devious plan. She couldn't take it any more.

"ARGH!" she abruptly stood up and madly flung her arms out in distress,"You two have got something up your sleeves, don't you? Well, YOU KNOW WHAT?" Hermione paused for what felt like a moment in her mind, but in reality was far longer.

"She'll give in…" Ginny whispered to Lavender as they watched Hermione stare into space and make a series of weird faces, "Just watch."

If she went, she could possibly be tortured, and she wouldn't get any work done either. To top it off, who knew what Malfoy would try to clean if she wasn't there to stop him? Why was the boy cleaning everything anyways?

_Ugh, Crabbe and Goyle's knack for hallucinating must be rubbing off..._

If she didn't go she would have to spend another evening with the "danger is lurking in every corner" boy and "lets just smash chess pieces together" boy, and then come back and restrain Malfoy from cleaning. Not to mention the fact that if she didn't go Ginny would drive her mad by making her do 'favors' which would all start with a simple, "Well you see Hermione, maybe if you would have gone to the slumber party then…"

There was no way that she was going to be able to handle another few weeks of that.

"FINE!" I'll go to your cursed slumber party, but this time try not to…" Hermione's voice drifted off in Ginny's mind even though she continued to rant for another minute or so. Ginny was completely and totally satisfied. They had it. It was going to happen.

"You have the bottle, right Lavender?" Ginny asked Lavender as Hermione walked off with her stacks of books still mumbling nonsense.

"You bet I do!" Lavender smirked while running her fingers through her long black hair, "All ready and set to go."

Ginny grinned. This was going to be a blast.

She watched Hermione waddle her way to the stairs and vanish around the corner. Hermione was NOT at all pleased to return to the head common room. She'd most likely find Malfoy snoozing away on the couch or something with 12 other mindless girls hovering over him like vultures. He made her sick. She cringed as she questioned Dumbledore's sanity. How could he make Malfoy the Sytherine head? Yeah he got the best marks and what not but come on! He was such an horrible being…continuously taking advantages of his privileges...cleaning everything… getting his work done before everyone else.

GAH.

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A/n: Please review? and even more, read the next chapter! So I know that someone out there is interested in this. LOL.


	2. The Mud Clot Monsters!

Chapter Two: The Mud Clot Monsters!

A/N: This is a complete first…me typing two chapters in one day. Just utterly amazing. xD Well, yet again I suggest that you read this chapter and the previous one even if you've already read it before, lol. It is different, especially this one and it's three times as longer. Awesome, no? Well okay…here it is?

And yeah, don't expect the third chapter until sometime next week. Or even longer. --

Remember…if you want a review response then review while you're signed on. :

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**Ten Pranks and a Dare**

Draco peered over the corner of the passageway into the green and silver clad empty Slytherin common room. His previously tense face expression relaxed at the relief of the room being completely and totally empty.

Draco Malfoy apparently was under the attack of the Mud Clot monsters.

He suddenly dropped to the floor and wiggled around – WAS HE HAVING A SEIZURE? No, not at all… He was 'slithering' into the common room in what he believed to be true Slytherin stealth fashion. There was no way that the Mud Clot monsters would be able to get him now! Slowly but surely he wiggled his way into _his_ self proclaimed armchair next to _his_ self proclaimed book shelf against _his_ self proclaimed wall, which was just coincidently a part of _his _self proclaimed Slytherin common room.

Draco Malfoy enjoyed self-proclaiming and owning things…even things that really didn't belong to him.

He randomly jolted his body as an awkward smile appeared on his face. "EVERYTHING IS MINE I SAY, MINE!" His mind always filled with ecstasy at the thought of the many things he could own. Maybe one day he could defeat the Mud Clot monsters and own the whole world.

Yep, that was Draco Malfoy's life ambition – To own every single thing on the living earth. Even all the hot chicks.

"Well, it seems as if the coast is clear!" Draco chirped, "Those bloody Mud Clot monsters better have learned to never mess with me ever again…now, time for some light reading!" He giggled as he cracked open a two paged book. A horrid image of a small terrier like dog being chased by an awkwardly unpropotional Billywig jumped out of the pages.

"See Spot run." A cool female voice read out loud. A childish giddy grin formed on Draco's mouth as he turned the page to be greeted by seeing the Billywig stinging the dog. "See Billywig sting spot," The lady stated. Draco's face twisted into a look of utter confusion and horror. " Watch spot float." The female voice finished off as Draco turned to the last page.

He paused for a moment. He didn't get it.

"OHMYGOOOOSSSH! What happened to spot?! WHY DON'T I COMPRENDE? Ah! Oh lord…no, IS THERE A MUD CLOT IN MY B-E-A-U-T-F-U-L, _beautiful_, brain? NO SPOT!" Malfoy screamed about, slithering, well more so wiggling all over the room. From a distance one would've though that he was faking a seizure.

"Mmm…Maybe Granger can get it out for me! And tell me what happened to Spot! Yeah…" Draco glanced down for a moment and when he looked up he found himself gracing his wonderful presence in the Granger-less head common room. "NO! Where the bloody hell is Granger? Man…now I'll never get the mud clot out of my brain and find out what happened to spot. I feel like dying."

Suddenly, Draco collapsed to the floor and felt something warm emerging out of his left ear.

"IT'S THE MUD, IT'S COMING OUT!" Smiling, he tilted his head to the side and watched the gunky substance drip out. He looked up again and this time found himself in his own room, surrounded by every current Slytherin attending Hogwarts, including Professor Snape. They were cleaning his room…but why? He thought for a while and then it came to his head. He was making them clean "invisible" mud clot dirt off his room MANUALLY until he commanded them to stop.

Honestly, it _was _for their own well being, just especially Draco's.

He grinned.

"Hey Blaise! Enjoy cleaning invisible mud clot dirt off my room until I command you to stop?" Draco giddily screamed into Blaise's pale meatless face.

"Oy…Draco! Your damn breath smells like a Mud Clot's arse!" Draco's eyes widened at the rude comment. "What have you been doing? Giving them _favors_?" Blaise said smirking.

Nu-uh. OH NO HE DIDN'T!

"Uh, did I tell you to stop working Blaise?" Draco sassed with one hand on his hip and the other in the air in a rather flimsy position. Blaise gave the clearly insance bleach blond a awkward look as he slowly shook his head. " UH, yeah, I thought so!" Draco said, swung his leg back and-

POW!

He knocked something over behind him and heard it thud onto the floor. But he didn't care. He swung his leg foreword and off Blaise went flying onto a horrified looking Professor Snape who was cowering in the dark corner of the room.

Satisfied, Draco turned around and saw his current girlfriend, Laurie Ann Filtz, sprawled out onto the floor. He had knocked her out.

Sweet.

He seriously couldn't give a thestral's crap about her, BUT he was nice enough to remove that disgusting rag off her face so she didn't suffocate. He bent over and tried to grab it.

"GODDAMN THIS IS HEAVY!" Draco yelped, and then paused for a moment. He couldn't believe that he didn't see it coming. His face screamed a shocked and stupid expression, "IT'S BLOODY INFECTED!" He dropped to the floor and began wiggling again. " The Mud Clots! NO!" He screeched and flung the evil rag into the air and watched it gracefully land on Crabbe's face with a nice solid thud.

Almost instantly, the miracle of raining food had become reality to Crabbe who was vigorously gnawing on the dirty rag. Goyle saw his so called friend snacking and his blood boiled with jealousy…in another instant Goyle was on top of Crabbe, putting his life on the line just for a delightful bite out of that rag.

Two words- Cat. Fight.

A bundle of growling, biting, pushing, grunting, and overall, of caveman like behavior circulated around the whole room along with the innocent rag awaiting it's doom in one of the cavemen's digestive systems. The fighting drew closer and closer towards Malfoy, as he became a deer in headlights. His heart began to pound. He wasn't going to live…there was no doubt that they were going to collide.

And then…it all went black for Draco.

* * *

"Levicorpus." Granger's voice said sternly as Draco felt the weight of two baby elephants lifted off his precious limp body. 

Granger had saved the day!

Draco slowly opened his eyes to find himself on the floor of his now empty room with the exception of Hermione Granger, who seemed mildly pissed off. Why was she turning up in every single one of his dreams lately? Damn smart mudblood.

He wished that she would go away.

"Oh! Draco-Waco! Is my baby okay?" Cooed the concerned and annoyingly high-pitched voice of Laurie Ann.

'_Wah…wasn't she knocked out?' _Draco thought as he pinched himself.

"UGH!"

It was all a dream.

Draco opened his eyes for real this time only to have instant contact with Laurie Ann's perfume drenched boobs.

"Agggh! Get off me woman!" She quickly moved off him as Draco sat up. " What do you think you're doing in my room? How'd you get my password?" Malfoy angerly asked Laurie Ann. Honestly, if an idiot like her could get a hold of his password and such private info, there was no telling when a pack of crazy girl would turn up in his room and do..._stuff _to him. Evil stuff.

"I…I was just trying to wake you up!" Laurie Ann murmured as her eyes began to water and her face turned red.

It was time to break up with little miss cries a lot.

"Honestly, get lost Laurie…I don't want to go with you anymore." Draco said, sitting comfortably from his bed. Laurie Ann burst into tears and fell to the floor.

"I th-th-ought you really cared…"

Draco rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom. Yeah right, never in a million years would he ever care for anyone.

Not even his dog, Gypsy.

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A/N: yeah…please tell me? xD 


	3. Pansy, Cross Dressing n' Slumber Parties

Chapter 3 : Pansy, Cross Dressing, and Slumber Parties

A/n: This is the last redo chapter…goodie, no? I intended to make this a double part chapter ( meaning that two key events happens verses just one) but I just wanted to leave you guys with something before school starts incase it gets in the way of my fan fiction time ( which it will, no doubt ) instead of waiting longer to get a longer chapter and maybe not even updating for another year. AND NO this doesn't mean that the next time I'll update it'll be a year later…maybe a month…or just a few weeks. Basically, a long time.

And of course…thanks to my few reviewers. Keeps me going. Lmao.

_**Update:**_ I'm currently, and FINALLY, writing the 4th chapter. I'm reposting this AGAIN with a few edits—mainly because I couldn't start the next chapter with the way this one ended. I didn't bother much with content, it may not be the best, but you guys can troop through 3 chapters of grammatical errors and an over dramatic Malfoy.

Yes, I know it's been 3 years. This is going to be good, just bare with me.

Thank You!

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**Ten Pranks and a Dare**

Draco suavely yet cautiously waltzed out of the bathroom towards his green armchair, hoping that Laurie Ann, his now super duper annoying ex-girlfriend was gone and wondered why he even went out with her.

_Because she's hotter than a bottle of firewhiskey going down your throat. Thats why._

Girls these days, all the hot ones were incredibly…clingy and stupid, and the ones with the brains were just horrid to look at. The day that Draco would meet and chick with smarts and hots, he'd marry her.

But it's not like that he would even care about her. Draco Malfoy didn't care about anyone or anything.

Not even his dog, Gypsy.

He proceeded to the armchair where frightened and abused house elves laid out his close daily. Today's selection was a snazzy and feisty red bra with a brown leather miniskirt and a bright green robe to cover up all the extra skin.

Draco slipped the sexy outfit on. "Hmmm…maybe I should get the skirt hemmed up higher…" Draco mumbled as he rubbed the bottom of the skirt between his thumb and forefinger. It just wouldn't work this short for Draco, he had to show off his nice thighs.

Wait…what?

"ARGH, BLAISE!"

"What is it my master Draco?" Blaise asked ever so innocently with an undertone of sarcasm. He seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

"How dare you try to accidentally cross dress me again?" Draco spoke, grabbing the clothes on him as if he was disgusted of them. "Just because it's worked dozens of other times it doesn't mean that it'll work now…" He paused… "You see, I haven't walked out into the common room OR even the Great Hall yet…Therefore it didn't work." Draco looked at Blaise to see approval of his logic. But he new that it actually had worked, yes he didn't publicly display his toned thighs and flamboyant chest, but he DID put the clothes on - And that's all Blaise wanted to see.

Draco in female clothing.

Perhaps…it turned him on? Who knew? Honestly, who even cared? Draco for one didn't. He didn't care about anyone or anything.

Not even his dog, Gypsy.

"Well, it was worth a try…" Blaise murmured under his breath, clearly disappointed. He slapped his hands together and looked up at Draco as if nothing had happened, as if his morning plan for eye candy, ahem, I mean, prank had failed. "Draco, Draco," He started in a very business like tone, " I can't help it if you're so vulnerable to it. It's not my fault that you put on whatever is on that chair every morning. Maybe you should give those frightened and abused house elves a break?"

Draco cocked an eyebrow. "You sound like that filthy mudblood…Uh, what was her name again?" In truth Draco actually did know her name, in fact she had been turning up in his dreams every night. Not only that, she was the Griffyndor house head, and he was the Slytherin - They've been living in the same tower for 2 months now. She was Potheads little girlfriend in that disgusting blood traitor love triangle three some thing, or whatever they called there selves. However, they actually never spoke. They weren't anywhere near friends. Just occasional potion partners and…mortal enemies? Or at least that was how Draco's father wanted it to be. In short - it was best if Draco always acted like he forgot who she was.

"Granger?"

"Yeh…Granger. Wasn't she the one with all that house elf crap?"

"Uhhhh…" Blaise didn't know what to say. Things like this weren't supposed to happen until the plan was officially initiated. He thought for awhile… "You mean that dangerously sexy and hot chick that stops you from cleaning Mud Clot dirt?" Draco was lost. What in the bloody hell was this boy talking about? Granger wasn't and isn't anywhere NEAR sexy…or hot. Infact, he hadn't ever even seen her face in full. It was always to the side, or hidden behind a stack of books or some sort of hexing spell emerging from her wand. But from what Draco has seen of her, she wasn't anything to brag about. Just a…fuzz ball. However, she DID restrain him from cleaning. It was the only thing that she ever did that directly concerned Draco.

'Stop me from cleaning...' Draco whispered inside his head. 'What and evil b-…witch. Did she NOT know the dangers of Mud Clot dirt? She **must** be on their side…Potty and Weasel too…'

"Yeah," Blaise cut off Draco's thoughts, " She started that 'crap' with the house elves, S.P.E.W. was it?"

"Did you sleep last night Blaise?" Draco asked, "Because you're saying some awfully stupid things…"

Blaise didn't reply. Draco let it go after awhile and went down to breakfast. Of course that it, after he changed into something decent for a man. He'd been in that get up for the whole time.

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"Pansy, pass me the eggs, would you?" Draco asked Pansy, his hand outstretched, waiting for the arrival of the plate, hoping to God that it wasn't going to be one of those mornings- One of those mornings where Pansy would suddenly go into shock because Draco had spoken to her. It actually happened all too often, and Draco was beginning to consider it something that was almost normal although painstakingly annoying. Why did he even bother with her?

Pansy's eyes had immediately become the size saucers as soon as her ears perked up at the sound of Draco's voice. What was she supposed to do?

_Come on girl…think quickly. I've gotta show him what my momma gave me…_

Her wide set eyes were still glued on Draco, and her body completely frozen. Suddenly, she popped out her almost nonexistent chest out, making everyone who was watching the predicament unfold jump at the unexpected movement.

"Is…there…something wrong with your back Pansy?" Blaise asked, slightly concerned. It wasn't that he had a liking towards this excuse for a girl, but there honestly was NOT supposed to be this kind of activity coming from her this early into the shock. It was scaring everyone. However, Pansy ignored Blaise's comment and continued to flaunt what little her mom had given her.

"Pansy…_PLEASE_ pass me the eggs…" Draco politely reminded her. He really just did want those damn delicious eggs that frightened and abused house elves prepared every morning. Really, what was wrong with the women? _Wait…is she even a __woman__?_ Draco shuddered.

Pansy twitched, yet again making the onlookers jump. 'Did he just say PLEASE? To ME, Pansy Parkinson? Oh my gosh…' Her heart was beating insanely and she was as damp as a moist towelette from all the rapid sweating. With another sudden movement, Pansy grabbed the plate of eggs and slowly began to put it out towards Draco. Her hands were shaking, and one hard boiled egg at a time began to roll off the sides. There was only one left now.

'Damn house elves ought to put them in a bowl.' Draco thought, 'Maybe after some more frightening and abusing…'

The now empty plate at finally reached Draco and Pansy handed it to him in the strangest way. Her nasty sweaty and greasy hands and clasped all over Draco's…

She wouldn't let go. Draco was scared.

"Please don't jump on me again…" Draco whispered, his eyes closed.

Blaise saw this as the perfect opportunity, "PANSY! Snap out of it woman…err, man…err…yeah." Pansy jumped, as if coming back into reality, and immediately let go of Draco's hand, leaving a disgusting yellow residue behind.

Sometimes being a wad of pure sexiness was very hard for Draco. There was always the fear of the theses weird and…deranged girls like Pansy that obsessed over him. He couldn't even list the number of time he's been jumped by a wild of pack girls as he turned a corner and emerged shirtless, and occasionally pantless. Most girls just couldn't keep their hands off of him.

Draco Malfoy was a total chick magnet.

"Thanks Blaise…" Draco said, wiping the weird grease like substance left behind by Pansy on Blaise's robes.

"Naa! It was nothing at all, BUT, you can pay me back by a simple favor," Blaise swung his arm over Draco's shoulder, "Buddy." He pitched in with a large, rather fake, smile pasted over his mouth. Draco wasn't buying it. For one, Draco Malfoy did NOT do favors. Never. If he did do favors that would indirectly imply that he actually cared and Draco Malfoy did not care about anyone or anything.

Not even his dog, Gypsy.

Blaise ignored Draco's negative response to his request and continued on, "I want you to…"Blaise paused. How was he supposed to put this? "I want you to…to…come to my before-we-go-to-bed-party-where-we-wear-our-p.j.'s-and-play-games-thing tonight in the Slytherin boy's dormitory." He could only hope that Draco was going to say yes, because if he didn't Blaise was supposively going to have to imperious him into it. It wasn't the fact that he minded putting someone under an imperious curse, he just didn't prefer it. It actually had shocked him when Bumblebee, as he forced them to call him, suggested it as a plan A. '_He's really gone off his rockers…_'

Draco snorted. " You want ME to go to YOUR slumber party?" Draco asked Blaise, clearly suppressing laughter. Why was he even having a slumber party in the first place? And what convinced him that Draco would actually go to it? Draco couldn't help it; He doubled over laughing his heart out. Not that he actually had one…it was just an expression. Because if Draco Malfoy had a heart that would mean that he cared, and we all know that Draco Malfoy doesn't care about anything.

Not even his dog, Gypsy.

His beautiful pureblood blood was pumped through his beautiful veins by a beautiful metal contraption. No heart here.

Two minutes had passed until Malfoy had realized that he was putting on quite an entertaining display in the Great Hall- which was now full of people eating breakfast. He immediately stopped laughing, and heard the very last one echo through out the silent hall. Everyone was staring at him. Great…now he would be the gossip for the day.

'Oh God…I need to get out of here.' Draco thought as he slowly reached for his book bag.

"So what about it Draco?" Blaise asked grinning.

"Yeah…sure…whatever…" Draco murmured right before beginning to scurry towards the stairs.

Blaise smiled as he patted a small bottle in his pocket.  
It was all going to work out.

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I love you guys for sticking with me. Even though we're all 6 years older now.


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